crimsonclad ([info]crimsonclad) wrote,
@ 2007-03-15 15:43:00
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Current music:seachange- walking in the air
Entry tags:fic, sga

sga fic: we don't need roads
So.

[info]helpwess called me sometime last week, and I told her about a thought I had had. You know, about Rodney. Rodney and a small piece of fanon re: John and pop culture.

These things just happen, okay? And I didn't have anyone beta it, because I worried they might forsake me forever.



we don't need roads

John poked his head into Rodney's lab a little nervously. The mission hadn't been dangerous, but it had certainly been pretty miserable— mostly because the Aun-ral villagers had refused to let Rodney enter their demesne. And when Rodney had furiously demanded a reason, the village elder had gestured to Rodney's head with an imperious wave.

"Your hair," the man pronounced. "Not enough."

John had expected angry tirades and protestations, but Rodney's face had gone blank and unreadable, and then he had turned and just started walking away.

"McKay!" John had called after him, embarrassed on Rodney's behalf.

"I'll see you back at the gate," Rodney had tossed over his shoulder, and all in all, John wasn't surprised to see Rodney listlessly poking at his laptop six hours later.

"Hey, McKay," John finally said, sauntering in to lean against the lab bench. "What are you doing?"

Rodney shrugged. "Double checking the work they did on the stabilization software while we were gone."

"Right. Well, if you aren't too busy, Ronon and Teyla said they might join me for a movie tonight. You in?"

Rodney looked up at him, his expression slightly less glum. "Huh, that might be kind of fun."

Encouraged by Rodney's almost-smile, John figured he hadn't been all that upset after all. And okay, it was an old joke, but John went for it anyway. "Yeah, I was thinking Back to the Future. Whaddya think?"

John never saw a lot of things coming, not just people trying to make out with him. But this— Rodney's expression falling, twisting into one of genuine hurt, just for a second— that was really unexpected.

"That's really funny, Colonel," Rodney said, his voice low and miserable. "You three have fun." And then he went back to work, ignoring all of John's come on, I was just kidding's and stop being such a drama queen's.

Finally, John gave up, almost as pissed at himself as he was at Rodney, because really— what the hell had just happened?

**

It was a few months later when another one of Jeannie's bizarre care packages arrived on the Daedalus. They tended to be one part candy, one part science and one part sisterly insults. Rodney was paging through some of the physics journals when John found an envelope full of old snapshots. "What are these?" he asked, but Rodney just rolled his eyes.

"Neighborhood kids, some ridiculous family reunion pictures. I didn't bother to look through all of them— she just sends them because she's worried I'll forget what normal, non-alien-fighting people look like."

John grinned, then started looking for adolescent Rodney in earnest, although he wasn't having much luck. It looked like a lot of awkward shots of fashion-challenged aunts and a bunch of kids in a snow fort— the kind of pictures which are really only mildly interesting if you know the people in them.

And then, at the bottom of the pile, John found a picture that seemed— oddly familiar, somehow.

It was a teenage Rodney, all right— cheekbones and big blue eyes under curly hair. But he didn't look like the science nerd John had seen in other batches from Jeannie's seemingly endless supply of photos. Rodney was dressed in a puffy orange vest and blue jeans, and he was holding— of all things— a skateboard. He was grinning at the camera, and standing beside an older guy— skinny, with a labcoat and a mop of fluffy white hair.

John had another hit of déjâ vu, and then he flipped the picture over.

In faded blue ink was the inscription:

Marty and Doc, 1982


For a second, John almost started to crow about Rodney being a complete fucking hypocrite, because what— it was okay for him and his friend to dress up as characters from Back to the Future, but John wasn't allowed to like the damn movie?

But then John remembered something— he had seen that movie three times in the theatre. And it had come out in 1985.

For a second, he figured he was just having a run of the mill nervous breakdown, and that was fine. But before handing himself over to Heightmeyer, he decided to try one thing.

"McFly?"

"What?" Rodney answered, still scribbling in the margins of the journal he was holding.

And then he froze, his breath hitching. "Did you just say—"

John handed over the picture. Rodney looked down at it, his face exhausted and miserable.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" John hissed.

And then Rodney threw up.

**

John helped Rodney clean up, because, okay, maybe there was a more tactful way to ask someone about his obviously upsetting (though cinematically lucrative) past.

But when Rodney was finally settled with a glass of water and some aspirin, John put a hand on his arm and said, "McKay. Seriously."

Rodney sighed. "Jeannie had trouble saying Meredith."

"What?"

"You know, kids can struggle with "th" sounds. And "Meredi" just turns into Marty. And that was what people called me.

"And McKay became McFly because..."

Rodney smiled wanly. "Doc started calling me that after he saw me doing jumps on my skateboard."

John needed a second. "You. On a skateboard."

Rodney nodded slightly.

"And so— okay, you're telling me that as a teenager you actually traveled back in time— in a Delorean with a flux capacitor— and almost made out with your mom?"

"Fuck you," Rodney said, suddenly furious. "No, I did not. They thought the mom thing would be so cute for the movie, no matter that my mom would hardly look at me for two years because she didn't believe that it hadn't come from me. The "flux capacitor" was typical Hollywood bullshit to help them cover up the fact that I was all but hauled off to Gitmo for having any part in it, for getting into something I could hardly understand at the time and then not having the decency to properly forget the details. I can't believe Jeannie even still has that photo, because I thought the CIA had done a more thorough job of destroying all the evidence." He was starting to turn hysterical, and John grabbed both his hands, trying to calm him down.

"Whoa, buddy, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"You don't understand," Rodney ground out. "Bad enough the government found out— but when they figured out that I was the same kid who had built a nuclear bomb in grade six, do you think they were willing to believe that time travel in a stupid looking car was just another accident? God, the things they did to me-- the things they did to him—"

John swallowed. "Who?"

"Dr. Emmett Brown," Rodney answered, his voice shaking. "You don't think we really had further adventures in the wild west together, do you? That was a greedy studio capitalizing on a money-making franchise. There was no "Biff," no stupid old timey school dance where I sand songs with a cool band. Just me and Doc, trying to do science. We never dared to interact with a single person in the past— we knew better. Of course we knew better— but try telling an anonymous government interrogator that. Try telling those people you were in it for the physics."

“I get it, I get it. But Rodney—why was the CIA involved in the first place? I mean, it can’t be so easy to get jurisdiction in Canada—"

Rodney smiled humorlessly. "Right, they pay a lot of attention to those sorts of rules when they think terrorists are destroying the time-space continuum. I don't know if Canada even bothered to object, to tell you the truth. Probably thought it wouldn't be polite."

"Fuck."

Rodney slumped back against the pillows of his bed. "Yeah."

At first, when Rodney had started to explain, John had definitely felt the urge to run around the base shouting, "MY BEST FRIEND IS MARTY MCFLY," just like old times. But looking at Rodney's defeated expression, his trembling hands, John felt kind of like a total asshole.

"Coming here— it's the first time I've been out from under their microscope since I was a teenager. They couldn't very well keep me from coming— not when they had been exploiting me for my theories of interstellar travel ever since they discovered there was no way of keeping me from coming up with them. Plus— well."

John frowned at Rodney's flushed cheeks. "What?"

"They never really let me have friends, so that's nice."

"Let you have friends? How could they keep you from making—"

Rodney shuddered. "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."

John had never seen that sort of dark terror in Rodney's eyes, and he hated it already. "Well, yeah, friends are great. Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth— they all care about you a lot."

Rodney looked at him for a second. "You don't put yourself on that list?"

John shrugged, unsure. "Not exactly."

Rodney pulled his hand out of John's grasp, his eyes going cold. "Well then, it's a good thing I told you all my secrets, wouldn't want to waste those on someone who's actually a friend—"

"Rodney, no," John said, shifting closer. "That isn't what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

Rodney had told John everything, and it would be totally chickenshit not to do the same in return. "Well— just— this." He leaned in, wrapping his hands around Rodney's shoulders and finally, finally, tasting his mouth. He felt his own breath coming quicker as he pressed against Rodney's solid body, smelled his skin, bit at his tongue. "This," he gasped out, shuddering when Rodney kissed him back.

It was perfect, perfect— but then Rodney pulled back, his expression unsure. "This isn't because I'm...him?"

John shook his head and smiled fondly, running his knuckles up Rodney's side. "Nah. Michael J. Fox never did much for me. You, on the other hand—" he cut himself off by brushing his mouth against Rodney's fluttering pulse.

And if there was a part of his brain shouting MY BOYFRIEND IS MARTY MCFLY, then maybe Rodney didn't have to know about that right away.



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[info]ladycat777
2007-03-15 07:56 pm UTC (link)
*eyes you*

You are insane.

God love you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:01 pm UTC (link)
You are insane.

yes, that is so!

HO HO HO

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]coquettemoves
2007-03-15 08:17 pm UTC (link)
YOU JUST KEEP ON HAVING FUN THERE. RAPING MY CHILDHOOD.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]fresh_tart
2007-03-15 08:20 pm UTC (link)
*SNORT* I totally agree, but also, your icon ROCKS.

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(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:22 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fresh_tart, 2007-03-15 08:32 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:20 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:24 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]justalurkr, 2007-03-15 08:27 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]justalurkr, 2007-03-15 08:44 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]justalurkr, 2007-03-15 08:42 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:31 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:33 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:39 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:42 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 09:07 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 09:08 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fresh_tart, 2007-03-15 08:35 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sparkymonster, 2007-03-16 03:32 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fresh_tart, 2007-03-16 12:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sparkymonster, 2007-03-16 10:25 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fresh_tart, 2007-03-16 11:18 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]fresh_tart
2007-03-15 08:19 pm UTC (link)
That's so many kinds of insane...and like I just told my friend, if I summarize the premise, it'll sound stupid, but IT WORKS. I love it!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:21 pm UTC (link)
What could possibly sound stupid about: it turns out Rodney McKay is Marty McFly???

oh, right, everything. OH WELLS

thanks dude!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]reginagiraffe
2007-03-15 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Wow... I...

I didn't see that one coming.

*admires your twisty brain*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:29 pm UTC (link)
If you had, I would have been rather surprised.

THANKS!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]wildestranger
2007-03-15 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Heheheheheheheheee. Magnificent. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Thankssss!

The stars aligned, and the truth APPEARED to me!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]scarletts_awry
2007-03-15 08:24 pm UTC (link)
I love you. Seriously. Never stop dealing the good crack.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:35 pm UTC (link)
I LOVE YOU TOO

There was a time when I wrote serious stories. I swear it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

OMG
[info]justalurkr
2007-03-15 08:25 pm UTC (link)
That explains so much. The only thing worse than a movie based on bad science is a movie based on good science, turned bad.

Yes, you are a madwoman. No, I don't particularly mind.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: OMG
[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:36 pm UTC (link)
your magnanimity regarding my madness is much appreciated!

thanks dude!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Re: OMG - [info]justalurkr, 2007-03-15 08:46 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]geeklite
2007-03-15 08:37 pm UTC (link)
Oh dear. :) I'm very glad I friended you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:46 pm UTC (link)
ME TOO YAY FRIENDS!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]burntcopper
2007-03-15 08:38 pm UTC (link)
You are strange. We like you. John likes you even better. :pets Rodney:

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:48 pm UTC (link)
thanks dude!

yes, it tends to be pretty weird around here.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]helpwess
2007-03-15 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Just me and Doc, trying to do science.


JUST ME AND DOC, TRYING TO DO SCIENCE!!!!!! Oh man, it (obviously) turned out magnificent. Plus, now I get to think about vest-clad Rodney on a skateboard!!! I demand that you make me an icon of Rodney that says "trying to do science," STAT.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:49 pm UTC (link)
THEY JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW THINGS WORKED, OKAY??????????????

the government hates science

so Rodney hates the government

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]helpwess, 2007-03-15 08:54 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 09:19 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]shrieking_ell
2007-03-15 08:40 pm UTC (link)
I had to click. cause of the title. i'm not sorry.

this is amazing crack. i actually want more of it. AND IT WORKS

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[info]coquettemoves
2007-03-15 08:43 pm UTC (link)
Your icon = best thing in the entire fandom OH EM GEE.

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(no subject) - [info]helenish, 2007-03-15 08:46 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shrieking_ell, 2007-03-15 08:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]coquettemoves, 2007-03-15 08:53 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:51 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]elbomac
2007-03-15 08:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure there's nothing better than this. AWESOME.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:53 pm UTC (link)
THANKS DUDE

they just wanted to learnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, tears

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]klo_the_hobbit
2007-03-15 08:47 pm UTC (link)
I had an insane urge to burst into tears and then run around yelling "RODNEY MCKAY IS MARTY MCFLY"
Someone needs to manip it so I can make a t-shirt with it on. I'll put a disclaimer underneath, blaming you for everything. *glomps you lovingly*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 08:54 pm UTC (link)
it just rolls off the tongue so trippingly, right?????

thanks thanks dude!

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(no subject) - [info]klo_the_hobbit, 2007-03-15 09:01 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]helenish
2007-03-15 08:48 pm UTC (link)
Rodney wasn't allowed to have friends! BOY, I bet he did a lot of comfort eating. I very much enjoyed John's classy "I'm not your friend, loser...PSYCH!!" method of wooing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]coquettemoves
2007-03-15 08:51 pm UTC (link)
Later, John refuses to be in the same room with Rodney for a week to let him know that John wanted to have all-the-way sex.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-03-15 08:57 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]khyrra
2007-03-15 09:07 pm UTC (link)
You are a perfect combination of genius and insane.

I will never be able to watch Back to the Future again. I liked that movie, dammit!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Won't knowing that it is Rodney's backstory make it even BETTER????

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]semielliptical
2007-03-15 09:11 pm UTC (link)
Aw, Rodney wasn't allowed to have friends. :( But now John is his BEST FRIEND and his BOYFRIEND so he wins in the end.

I think I ate too much sugar today, because at "Your hair," the man pronounced. "Not enough." I thought maybe Rodney would rip open his shirt and pants, showing off plentiful body hair while shouting "IS THIS ENOUGH?"

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 09:16 pm UTC (link)
I thought maybe Rodney would rip open his shirt and pants, showing off plentiful body hair while shouting "IS THIS ENOUGH?"

HAHAHAHAH AWESOME

SEQUEL???????

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]marf_the_river
2007-03-15 09:31 pm UTC (link)
*dies from helpless and near-hysterical laughter*

I feel a step closer to insanity for having read that. Thank you, it was an entertaining step to take.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 09:43 pm UTC (link)
I feel a step closer to insanity for having read that.

Okay, well I'll see you when you get here!

thanks dude!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]queenofalostart
2007-03-15 09:47 pm UTC (link)
You = MY HERO OMG.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-15 10:01 pm UTC (link)
I knew this leotard would come in handy someday!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]copracat
2007-03-15 10:13 pm UTC (link)
You're very, very, very crazy but I definitely like you.

MY BOYFRIEND IS MARTY MCFLY

Eeee hee hee hee hee hee!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:01 am UTC (link)
I LIKE YOU TOOOOOOOO

thanks! I seem to have lost the ability to write normal things! Whoops!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]vic_ramsey
2007-03-15 10:17 pm UTC (link)
You're on the good crack.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<my [...] mcfly</i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

You're on the good crack.

<MY BOYFRIEND IS MARTY MCFLY</i> HA! Oh, John. *pets*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:03 am UTC (link)
Well, bad crack is just so BAAAAAD.

thanks thanks!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]aurora_84
2007-03-15 10:28 pm UTC (link)
YOU ARE INSANE, kthx.

Don't ever change. :X:X

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:03 am UTC (link)
YES I THINK YOU KNEW THAT SOMEHOW

this post is very popular for pancake head Rodneys!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lallybroch
2007-03-15 10:49 pm UTC (link)
GENIUS. Also, I mistakenly believed from the title that this was going to be about the movie "Event Horizon", which has the line "Where we're going, we don't need *eyes*." Which would be, well, a different kind of story.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:05 am UTC (link)
See, there's another movie Rodney should get all het up about, but no one ever talks about that.

THANKS DUDE!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-03-16 02:14 am UTC (Expand)

[info]maribouquet
2007-03-15 10:50 pm UTC (link)
JOHN IS HIS DENSITY

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:06 am UTC (link)
girl, that is so true and topical! YOU ARE A GENIUS

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]altorogue, 2007-03-16 04:48 am UTC (Expand)

[info]adafrog
2007-03-15 11:36 pm UTC (link)
lolol OMG, pure crack! Great fun, thanks!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:07 am UTC (link)
Glad you enjoyed this visit to weirdtown!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]cindyjade
2007-03-15 11:41 pm UTC (link)
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-03-16 02:17 am UTC (link)
THANKS MAN

I am glad so many people have seen my side of things.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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