crimsonclad ([info]crimsonclad) wrote,
@ 2007-07-05 15:36:00
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WHAT. WHAT.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED. WHAT HAVE I DONE.



It was many years since Bumblebee had taken a lover, and as he looked up at Ironhide, he could feel his body trembling. "What do you think we will become?"

Ironhide smiled, and the familiar metallic sound of that motion made Bumblebee shiver. "I don't know, 'Bee. But I can't wait to find out."

Bumblebee's first partner-- so long ago-- had been a sweet thing, and the result of their coupling-- a windmill, turning lazily in the winds of Cybertron-- had been as gentle and solid as their relationship. Once, in the later days of the war, Bumblebee had thrown caution to the wind and mated with an old friend turned traitor, temporary truce formed through their mutual desperation. The result had been a ravenous sawmill, capable of churning through any kind of metal. The sheer power had been intoxicating, but afterward, Bumblebee had felt empty, used. Lonely.

But so many years later, curving up against Ironhide's warm bulk, he knew this would be different. He knew they couldn't help but become something wonderful.

"That's right, sweetheart," Ironhide whispered, his normally stern voice gone soft with wanting, "show me your spark."

Bumblebee felt pleasure run through him, conducted along his every surface. With a sigh, he opened his chest.

Ironhide reached out carefully, then ran a single hexagonal fingertip along the edge of Bumblebee's spark. "Ah--" Bumblebee gasped, the heat rising up in him. "Please-- oh, please--"

"Cube that's good," Ironhide swore, his voice slurring with lust. "Okay-- okay--" he stuttered as he began to open his own chest cavity. "Are you ready?"

Bumblebee didn't answer-- he just gave himself up to the transformation before he could think about it any more. He could feel his humanoid shape disappear as every piece of himself shifted and slithered into something new, something where his polished surfaces linked themselves to Ironhide's coils and joints. They became joined everywhere, a new creation, and deep within, their sparks flared together, pulsating in ecstasy.

"yeah, 'Bee, yeah," Ironhide rumbled. "Can you see? Oh, fuck, do that again--"

Bumblebee flexed the panel he had moved before, and Ironhide growled out his delight. "I think I know what we are," Bumblebee hissed, feeling a row of wheels, mapping out their new expanse of curves. "I took Sam to a place once, and he called it--"

Ironhide thrashed, sending a ripple through their joined structure.

"--a roller coaster, oh, oh, cube, I need--" Bumblebee managed, but then his car was climbing Ironhide's tracks and he lost the power of speech.

Every echoing click was a kiss, a caress. As the yellow carriage moved closer and closer to the ride's highest peak, the ground beneath began to shudder with Ironhide's need. His metal groaned and strained. "Close, 'Bee, you're so-- close--"

And then the car tipped its nose over the edge, and they were falling together. The rush of it was blinding, as each one surrendered to gravity only to be held up by the metal tracks of his lover.

Whenever they thought the pleasure couldn't get more intense, the speeding car would climb another peak, or find itself cradled in the perfect curve of a spiral. Every plummet was angled for maximum pleasure, every rise another thrust up at the sky. Their commingled sparks crackled along the rails in bursts of energy.

Just when Bumblebee thought he might not be able to take any more, the speeding car finally slowed to a stop, safety bars rising to release nonexistent riders.

" 'Bee," Ironhide gasped, still trembling with aftershocks.

Bumblebee felt oxidized, he was so wrung out. "Mmm. Good."

By silent consent, they waited a few moments before separating, reclaiming their individual components and returning to their previous shapes. Wrapping their arms around one another was a bit more difficult than it seemed when Bumblebee watched Sam and Mikaela do it, but he liked it anyway.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" Ironhide rumbled, the spinning of his cannons sending a pleasant vibration through Bumblebee's exoskeleton.

"I dunno-- Sam might need me for something."

"Tell him you're busy," Ironhide whined, which made Bumblebee laugh.

"I'm sorry, are my duties protecting the savior of our race inconveniencing you?"

Ironhide grinned. "Well, maybe a little."

"I'm sure you can handle it, tough guy." Bumblebee paused before pulling away, and opened his chest just enough for a beam of energy to arc across the space between them, making Ironhide groan. "Okay, I really do have to go. I'll let you know if I can make it tomorrow." He started to shift back into his Camaro-form (which Ironhide had admitted was pretty shapely, for something designed by humans).

"I'll miss you, 'Bee," Ironhide smiled, as calm and happy as Bumblebee had ever seen him.

"Goodnight," Bumblebee beamed, wiggling his shiny bumper as he drove away.



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(Reply from suspended user)

[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 07:50 pm UTC (link)
I FEEL THAT I HAVE CROSSED A LINE, SOMEHOW. SORRY, WORLD.

but I'm glad you liked the hot robot on robot clanking metal power of their LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE, dude.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:01 pm UTC (Expand)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:04 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]quettaser
2007-07-05 07:58 pm UTC (link)
I AM WONDERING IF, PERHAPS, I HAVE EVER LOVED YOUR FACE MORE.

AND I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION, THAT NO. NO, I HAVE NOT.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:00 pm UTC (link)
WHAT HAVE I BECOME

OHHHHH, DEAR

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lallybroch
2007-07-05 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Dude. WHOA.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:03 pm UTC (link)
Here's something else that will blow your mind: Hugo Weaving, the voice of Megatron, is also Mr. Smith in the Matrix movies. The movies where robots destroyed the earth and use humans as batteries. DOES THAT MEAN THAT THE MATRIX IS A TRANSFORMERS DYSTOPIAN AU???????????????????????????/

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:04 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:05 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:09 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:20 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:23 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:25 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:27 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:29 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:34 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:37 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:40 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lallybroch, 2007-07-05 08:42 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]dark_wesley
2007-07-05 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Somewhere, that took the path straight through wrong and ended up at awesome. I don't understand it, but it's the truth.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]dark_wesley, 2007-07-05 08:36 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dark_wesley, 2007-07-05 09:14 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]ambisis
2007-07-05 08:10 pm UTC (link)
Hawt. I applaud thee, because I would NEVER be able to write something so ridiculously AWESOME.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:14 pm UTC (link)
Thank you. I'm a little terrified at what has become of this once-idle speculation.

OH NO, WHAT IF I GO AFTER MY LITTLE PONIES

HALP

HALP

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]ambisis, 2007-07-05 08:19 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 08:31 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ambisis, 2007-07-05 09:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]crimsonclad, 2007-07-05 09:32 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]helenish
2007-07-05 08:15 pm UTC (link)
Damn girl! It's not only robot slash, but, like, DIRTY Filthy robot lovemaking. YAY! Now I really can't wait to see this movie.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:16 pm UTC (link)
Perhaps I am more comfortable writing porn with no recognizable gonads????

SORRY JOHN SHEPPARD

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]helenish, 2007-07-06 02:59 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]arinye, 2008-02-07 02:28 am UTC (Expand)

[info]laughingacademy
2007-07-05 08:26 pm UTC (link)
THIS IS NOW MY DIRRRRRTIEST ICON.

BOW CHIKA WOW WOW.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:32 pm UTC (link)
YEAH IT IS

DAMN, THEY ARE REALLY INTO IT

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]annechen67
2007-07-05 08:32 pm UTC (link)
I haven't heard the Ohio Players in years...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 08:35 pm UTC (link)
I had to google it to understand, but now that I do, OMG YES

Sam does not understand why Bumblebee keeps playing that song!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

\o/
[info]solvent90
2007-07-05 08:38 pm UTC (link)
YAY. I knew this would happen, I have been lurking in wait, and lo, it is hilarious and wonderful.

a single hexagonal fingertip

It is profoundly wrong how hot that is.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: \o/
[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 09:34 pm UTC (link)
I don't know if that is even accurate. His fingers could be triangle shaped for all I know.

THANKS I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THIS INSTEAD OF BEING CREEPED OUT AND NEVER TALKING TO ME AGAIN

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]nightrainbow
2007-07-05 08:45 pm UTC (link)
Awwww. AWWWWW! I love this!

Then again, I just realized that I adore Tanith Lee's Silver Metal Lover, so robot sexin' is not scandalous for me.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 09:35 pm UTC (link)
Well, I'm not unacquainted with robot sexxxx, but it is usually in the context of more obviously sexy robots. Not big truckfaces.

WHATEVER, I'M BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS N' WHATNOT

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ladyrogue79
2007-07-05 08:53 pm UTC (link)
Best robot porn EVER! Oh god, you win everything. The day, the Internet, cookies. EVERYTHING.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 09:37 pm UTC (link)
omg

COOKIESSSSS????

Thanks dude! I hope everyone else will join me in this strange, strange world.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]shadowhuntress
2007-07-05 09:09 pm UTC (link)
OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.

I thought I wanted to find some robot slash after seeing the film, but I didn't know I'd find this. Mind has crashed. Must reboot.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-05 09:37 pm UTC (link)
My default setting is to slash whoever's available, but I ALSO did not know such a thing would happen.

WHAT HAVE I BECOME.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]abscondinabox
2007-07-05 10:14 pm UTC (link)
I- I- I love you. A lot, is basically where it's at. I know we have never exchanged words before, but. You are many kinds of win for writing this. The sheer CRACK AND AWESOME has absolutely made my sleep-deprived day much more wonderful. The lazy windmill! Bumblebee feeling used! ROLLER COASTER OF LOVE!

You? Win the internet. Thank you SO MUCH. I need a Transformers icon v. badly.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 02:19 am UTC (link)
I AM GLAD OUR FIRST EXCHANGE OF WORDS IS LOVE RELATED.

thanks dude! I also need a Transformers icon. NOT OF A ROLLER COASTER.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]candlewaxdreams
2007-07-05 10:31 pm UTC (link)
Wheee! Robot!porn is the best ;D And so are you!

Hmm, I don't have a rollercoaster icon, but I'll give you the closest thing I have

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 02:20 am UTC (link)
Daaaaaaamn, that icon is FILTHY! You're brave to use it here where anyone can see what a perv you are.

THANKS DUDE

I FEEL LESS INSANE KNOWING THAT OTHERS ENJOY THE MADNESS

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]girl_wonder
2007-07-06 12:34 am UTC (link)
HA. This is better than sliced bread and cupcakes. I just saw Transformers and it seemed appropriate to come home to robot porn.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 02:21 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad I was here to provide! Better than slippers and a martini, I hope?

CLANK CLANK

there's some porn music for you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]shelbecat
2007-07-06 02:25 am UTC (link)
Okay...I am not going to read (mainly since I have not seen the movie, and partly since...hello, ROBOT P0RN!!!). But may I just say that I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED. WHAT HAVE I DONE. is perhaps the funniest thing I have read on my flist tonight.

Except of course for and the result of their coupling-- a windmill, turning lazily in the winds of Cybertron...

I peaked. Shoot me.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 01:26 pm UTC (link)
HAHA YOU CANNOT RESIST THE POWER OF ROBOT PORN

CLANK CLANK CLANK

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ravynstoneabbey
2007-07-06 03:53 am UTC (link)
I found you via MQ [your previous post] and I must say I like your mind. :) Plausible and dare I say yummy robot sex.

Thumbs up! (and friended.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 01:28 pm UTC (link)
MY MIND SAYS: THANKS

Why am I not surprised that the first time I am ever metaquoted, it is about my first foray into robot porn? OH, WORLD.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]ravynstoneabbey, 2007-07-06 03:01 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]hegemony
2007-07-06 04:43 am UTC (link)
You just turned one of the most rediculous ideas into something SO hot. So, uh, when would you like the internet delivered, huh? 'Cause you just WON IT.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 01:31 pm UTC (link)
If I had known abandoning all shame would win me the internet, I would have done it long ago!

CLANK CLANK <-- (sex noises)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]stokley02
2007-07-06 04:43 am UTC (link)
i don't know if i can get all teh way through this story. I keep laughing.

I'm half horrified at my childhood friend Bumblebee growing up, but then reading the story, it all makes sense!! (espeically love the bits about past relationships BB has had)


And THAT THE MATRIX IS A TRANSFORMERS DYSTOPIAN AU??????????????????????????? I think i'd have to agree with you! And somehow then the Elves would have to get involved....

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 01:35 pm UTC (link)
i don't know if i can get all teh way through this story.

I do not blame you. I think writing this story has given me hysterical blindness.

SORRY ROBOTS

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW LOVE

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]helpwess
2007-07-06 01:15 pm UTC (link)
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-06 01:36 pm UTC (link)
GET OUT OF HERE, ROBOT HATER

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]jojo_kun
2007-07-06 02:45 pm UTC (link)
haha! Awesome! I love the 'joining' angle. A very interesting take on robot sex.. and one that is specific to Transformers. :)

I always thought of Transformer sex as being a transfer of energon, but the joining and joint tranformation is very cool. Great job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-09 07:14 pm UTC (link)
THANKS

YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE...THIS ROBOT SEX ACT

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ozsaur
2007-07-06 03:53 pm UTC (link)
That was really kind of sweet. And sort of hot. I feel a bit pervy admitting that...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-09 07:16 pm UTC (link)
IMAGINE HOW I FEEL, HAVING WRITTEN IT.

But thanks! At least we can all feel kind of pervy together.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]tartanshell
2007-07-07 04:19 am UTC (link)
OMG, I love this!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-09 07:18 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

(I am, however, going to stay faaaaaaaaaaaar away from My Little Ponies.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

HOTT.
[info]cobweb_diamond
2007-07-07 09:39 am UTC (link)
Alright, this is both horrible and absolute genius. I, just, I. I think it has changed my life for the better. *fear and awe*

Okay, can I friend you?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: HOTT.
[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-09 07:23 pm UTC (link)
If this brief moment of robot porn has made your life better, then I am glad it happened. However strangely.

and around these parts, it is FRIEND AT WILL country, which I see you already did, so never mind!

CLANK CLANK

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Re: HOTT. - [info]cobweb_diamond, 2007-07-09 07:35 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]andrastewhite
2007-07-07 12:52 pm UTC (link)
This is amazing. What a brilliant concept! Loved the bit about the windmill and the sawmill back on Cybertron.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]crimsonclad
2007-07-09 07:26 pm UTC (link)
I was stumped as to what first time and/or hatesex would be, temporarily, but I dug deep. I guess. Don Quixote, you leave those robots alone! They are just expressing their love!

thanks dude!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(121 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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